lost forever in the abyss of darkness
wad the hell....mierda......my life is getting worse. More problems arises as i get on. Wad resilient, wad purpose, wad drive....rubbish. all the rubbish of TJC asipirations. I have no purpose to what i am doing...all i want is juz not let my parents down by scoring well for A levels. Life after that will continue after consideration while in my NS. I have no drive, no aim, no nothing in life. Juz scoring well is all i do, and what i want to do can never be done. That's y i have no drive. My drive i the past came from my friends who continuously encourage me, force me to push on wiht them. Well i did succeed, but now no more.
JC life is short. 1.5 years....what sort of friends can u make compared to those whom really concern about u? Not that they are not friends, not that they dun consult to u or share thier probs or even console u, juz that something is missing.....Lifeless sad truth of this world....everything is fake. Every single bit. nothing is real. Dead things that live on....no purpose, no drive.
Why bother being resilient, perseverance when i keep falling deeper and harder as i climb higher? that's life i guess. Yes, full of unexpectancies and ups and downs....that's what that makes life interesting? i dunno...maybe the puzzles of my life have not been filled, maybe parts are coming off.....
I'm all alone, with no help or anyone to ask for clarification. The notes are rubbish, the tutorials are not helping in any way. I dunno wad i am doing, or have been doing. Spending time on senseless enjoyment of facing the com screen like now....yet i want to continue. All i can do is say i should stop, but not taking action. Rubbish....what is this.....No one knows, no one cares, nobody bothers. How to get help when u're trapped in a state of quagmire. Doubts remain, uncertainty left clarified. Things pile up and slowly, i dunno what i am doing. I have no confidence in anything now....not like what i am used to in sec skool...everything seem so perfect...my chem tutor is right....
All i want is understand, and apply wad i learn to something new, but it seems i messed up my understanding....in the end i understand nothing, got my concept wrong, basics are gone, the end....i really dunno how to continue...i;m not even sure if i'm considered as "started"....
problems everywhere sufaced....cannot be solved...dilemma in every aspect arise...cannot be clarified.....sigh....hiaz i dunno wad to do...zzzz
JC life is short. 1.5 years....what sort of friends can u make compared to those whom really concern about u? Not that they are not friends, not that they dun consult to u or share thier probs or even console u, juz that something is missing.....Lifeless sad truth of this world....everything is fake. Every single bit. nothing is real. Dead things that live on....no purpose, no drive.
Why bother being resilient, perseverance when i keep falling deeper and harder as i climb higher? that's life i guess. Yes, full of unexpectancies and ups and downs....that's what that makes life interesting? i dunno...maybe the puzzles of my life have not been filled, maybe parts are coming off.....
I'm all alone, with no help or anyone to ask for clarification. The notes are rubbish, the tutorials are not helping in any way. I dunno wad i am doing, or have been doing. Spending time on senseless enjoyment of facing the com screen like now....yet i want to continue. All i can do is say i should stop, but not taking action. Rubbish....what is this.....No one knows, no one cares, nobody bothers. How to get help when u're trapped in a state of quagmire. Doubts remain, uncertainty left clarified. Things pile up and slowly, i dunno what i am doing. I have no confidence in anything now....not like what i am used to in sec skool...everything seem so perfect...my chem tutor is right....
All i want is understand, and apply wad i learn to something new, but it seems i messed up my understanding....in the end i understand nothing, got my concept wrong, basics are gone, the end....i really dunno how to continue...i;m not even sure if i'm considered as "started"....
problems everywhere sufaced....cannot be solved...dilemma in every aspect arise...cannot be clarified.....sigh....hiaz i dunno wad to do...zzzz
posted by Pokemon Master at 12:47 AM
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