woah finally i manage to log in....guess it's not the time spent on signing up a new google acc, but rather the willingness to go thru all the trouble to do so....
anyways, hmmm why am i even here...guess i'm having withdrawal symptoms of not having with me my PSP...yea. Day 1 without PSP was pretty bad. esp since i watched finish tengen toppa gurren laggan, and the new bamboo blade ep. hmm what to do? i thought, and i wanted my life to be more enriching - to be like what life was before i got my psp(and all the anime-watching). it's pretty bad for health....socially.
i use to hang out with friends and my family more often. then came the anime-marathon....rushing thru episodes and episodes of senseless anime(some were good though...) finding more and more animes to watch after completing the series one after another. then came the psp....at 1st i was like "nah it's okay dun spend money unnecessarily...plus i didnt really needed it" and the 1st thing i did when i got the psp on my hands - non-stop playing.
My life became Sleep, play, eat,play,eat,sleep.....a vicious cycle. my accomplishments for the day comes from completing a village quest from MHF2, or killing boss zombies in silent hill. when i fail to do so, it gets irritating. wasting hours and hours of my precious bookout time doing....nothing. accomplishing nothing. if i were to go out with my family without a purpose of getting anything for camp or for my needs, i feel i could accomplish more at home with a psp. after training, back to bunk, take out psp, play. my friends were complaining about my addiction. things werent going very well....yet i enjoyed this life. It's sinful, but addictive. when i realise i wasted far too much time, i would go out to roller skate ecp....alone i guess. it helps alot in airing my thoughts, relaxing my mind. up to now
my resolution has not changed - to skate the whole stretch from ecp to Changi beach. if the park connector project would continue to stretch the whole of s'pore's width, i'll skate to the ends of singapore! anyway, that's besides the point. my piano aged, my life stagnated, i feel....separated from reality. finally came the day when my psp went to my bro who's going to europe. i guess it's for the better too. i should start my advance theory, start reading more stuff about the real world rather than Laharl's Kingdom, more imptly take more respoinsibility and deal with my work with professionalism. After commissioning and getting my black choc bar, i learnt alot thru the 9 months of gruelling training.
when i was still a CLM cadet, i asked myself - if s'pore were to go to war, and my families already migrated, waiting for me there. Would i stay behind and fight? my answer was no. People say u fight for ur country, because ur loved ones are there. but now the scenario has changed. ur loved ones are elsewhere waiting for u. Nothing else holds precious to u in this warring nation. Would u still fight? Would u still hold onto the ground?
Now, ask me the same question with the same scenario. My answer, is yes. Why? Why fight for the forsaken land?
Because being a leader of the SAF, the men i lead have their loved ones waiting for them too. waiting at the land they call home, Singapore. not everyone can, or would migrate to other countries. I cant see myself running away when everyone is doing their best to protect what they deem precious and dear to them. They yearn for the future, for the Skies above. I use to say
The closer u are to the Light, the Darker the shadow.. But no longer.
If that's the case, i'll become the Light unto myself. the vaules i learnt thru the course were many, but 2 had alot of impact on me - Selflessness, and Integrity. Respect - earn it, don't demand it.
anyway i think i kinda got off topic....listing my thoughts down brought me deeper into thoughts. uhhhh....stone. anyway....went for a run to prep myself physically for biang...AGAIN. but i feel weak....i ran 2 rounds, then wanted to carry on with the commandos training but cant....a few push ups and my arms are aching. a few sit ups and my abs screamed. something is wrong....i feel....qwerty. i tried for another set. damm....i cant carry one. 50 of each in the end. i went for chin ups. 11....pathethic. i coulnt even hang on the bar.....i could easily hit 15 in the past, and my record was 18. damm....i feel weird. was it yesterday? no....nothing wrong. even if i had diarrhea, i could still maintain a certain level of standards. even after marching training, i could still hit a certain level. but not today....weird. i feel weak...urgh hated that. i cant understand y....was it something on my mind....hiaz. or maybe it's the psp-withdrawal symptom. ahhaha....okay that's all i guess.
